Last week's reads

Last week's reads were a hodgepodge, as per my usual. If you read my other blog you know that I've been working on a Happiness Project, and many of my reading choices have been reflecting that project. (And one of them was for fun). On to the books!

The Confidence Code by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman

The Confidence Code explores, in a nutshell, why women tend to be less confident than men, particularly in the workplace. The authors explore biological, genetic, psychosocial, and cultural reasons, and find that they all play a part in the decreased self-assurance shown by women. They interview several powerful and accomplished women, and find that many of them still do lack confidence in some respects, but also go through ways that they have overcome this lack of confidence.

The book was very interesting, and I particularly enjoyed learning about the biological and genetic factors that go into confidence. It felt to me more like an informative book about the essence of confidence, rather than a how-to book of how to achieve greater confidence. While the book was interesting, I didn't find it particularly conclusive and felt it wound around the same point a fair bit, which is why it didn't rank higher than 3.5 stars. However, an interesting read, and just the fact that I was thinking more about my confidence, I feel, led me to act with more confidence myself. 

3.5 stars

Warnings: None

Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood by Jim Fay and Charles Fay

This one came highly recommended by friends with well-behaved kids, so I definitely wanted to check it out. C. has rocketed into toddlerhood with a set of opinions and a propensity to scream in church, and I have been desperate for solutions. I found Love and Logic to have some pretty good ideas, although it definitely falls into the frightful trap of "if you don't follow everything we say to the letter, your child will end up in prison" that every parenting book has. While I haven't religiously adopted every technique or seen complete and utter success, I do think it is better than most. 

4 stars

Warnings: May get a bit cheesed out by some of the examples :)

Longing for Home by Sarah Eden

I have really been enjoying the books in the Proper Romance publishing imprint. Lately I have been craving some of the lighter, giddier style of books, and these books have it all without being lewd and making me uncomfortable. Longing for Home is the story of Katie, an Irish immigrant working in America during the time of the Great Famine. She travels across the country to work in a tiny town in Wyoming, only to find that the town is split apart by a great feud between the Irish and those who wish they would head back to their own country. Between her own dark secrets of the past and the turmoil around her, Katie has more than enough to deal with, but of course there are not one but two handsome strangers to further complicate the story. I found the plot enjoyable and at times unpredictable, especially in the matter of the love triangle. So often, the answer is obvious, but in Katie's case it is difficult to say, and there is a second book to further elaborate what her choice will be. My only issue was that the writing was at times circuitous and overly obvious. However, a romantic and at times intense story with a constantly twisting plot. 

3.75 stars

Warnings: Some violence

Women and the Priesthood by Sheri Dew

There was been a bit of turmoil among some members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints over the last few years centering on the fact that only men hold the priesthood in the church. Sheri Dew's book goes into the doctrinal reasons behind this difference, and explains why women are essential to the priesthood and have full access to its power despite the fact that they do not officiate in its ordinances. I found this book to be well-written and so clear on the doctrine. It was beautiful and definitely increased both my faith and my understanding. 

5 stars

Warnings: None

Confessions of a Latter-day Virgin by Nicole Hardy

***EDIT*** After stepping away from this for a while, I realized some of the things I wrote were not very clear and could be misconstrued. So just to clarify. The LDS church believes in following the law of chastity. What I mean by differences in lifestyle versus doctrine is variations in how many children a couple have, or whether or not the wife works, or if they are nomadic types that travel the world, etc. We believe that there are nonnegotiable commandments, but some people think that matters of opinion like those lifted above determine whether some people are better than others and use those things to judge others. Just to clarify. If there are any questions I will respond to comments. Thanks! *** END OF EDIT***

When I saw Confessions of a Latter-day Virgin on NetGalley, I was immediately intrigued. As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (more popularly known as "Mormons"), I tend to be drawn to books written about or by members of my faith. In addition, the book sounded like it was a perspective on life outside the mainstream culture of the church, which also interests me. It also leads me to make a quick clarification: there are certain LDS doctrines -- truths that we believe are from God and that cannot be compromised. There are also elements of Mormon culture -- things that tend to show up in the church and its members but that are not necessarily of God or even religious. When you have a group of people living in a unique way, additional quirks are going to arise. For example, BYU, a Mormon university, has some bizarre dating rituals, because a) we are taught to be abstinent until marriage, b) we don't drink alcohol, meaning the nightlife is a little different there, and c) we believe that marriage is one of the most important things you can accomplish in life, and some people take it as a challenge to get married ASAP.

I'm getting ahead of myself with those disclaimers. In a nutshell, Nicole is an LDS woman who goes to college at BYU. Like most young women at BYU, she expects that she will find love and get married in or after college. However, as she experiences BYU she a) doesn't find love or marriage and b) takes issue with many of the attitudes of her classmates. However, she believes in the doctrines of the LDS faith and spends her adult life fighting to remain a virgin despite her growing feelings of repressed sexuality. Eventually, she comes to a point of decision -- continue on with a lifestyle that feels hopeless and miserable to her, or break with the belief system that she has relied on her entire life?

I loved reading Nicole's story and getting inside her head as she shares her struggles. I think, as an LDS woman myself, it is important to understand those who are not in the traditional LDS mold of getting married young, being a stay-at-home mom with lots of children, etc. Being slightly outside that mold myself with my full-time job, I can appreciate the loneliness that comes with it and the frustration when people make judgmental remarks, whether or not they are intended to wound. Her honesty was refreshing, poignant, and at times heartbreaking. There were people who made very ignorant, unkind comments to her, questioning why she was still single, and I felt myself bristling with indignation at them. She also writes very beautifully, drawing on stories from her childhood to illustrate her present situation, which made the writing more relatable and powerful.

Because this is Nicole's story, I can't say I disliked it because I disagreed with her ultimate actions. The ending was frustrating to me because I felt that she took the thoughtless unkindness of some and turned it against the entire church, letting it color the religion that she believed for so long into something ugly and dark. Some of her actions at the end of the book seemed inconsistent with the hopes she expressed at the beginning, such as permanence in a relationship whether or not it was a temple marriage. While I hoped to see the book end in another way, I know that life isn't always that simple, and her experience definitely informs both my sensitivity to others who may be feeling as she does. It was a reminder to not be judgmental and to remember what are commandments from God and what are lifestyle quirks that Mormons tend to exhibit. Confessions of a Latter-day Virgin was not always an easy book to read, but it did cause me to evaluate the way I treat others and to remember that everyone carries a different burden.

I felt like this book was unrateable for the reasons lifted above, so it has ? stars. :)

Warnings: Language, moderate sensuality, one detailed description of the items in an adult store