Apparently, this song came out on Grey's Anatomy and was popular for a long time. However, I have never watched Grey's Anatomy and I've only just discovered it on the lovely blog of an acquaintance that I don't technically know well enough to follow, but do anyway.
I am not sure I can explain the gut reaction that I have to this song. It is relatively simple - three chords and a string of contradictions. It captures a feeling that I don't think I am capable of describing in words, and that is why it moves me so much - I've been grasping at threads trying to explain that feeling for years, and while I can't get the hang of it, someone else has, and their words have fortuitously fallen into my lap.
The song has been doubly opportune in that it fell into my lap as I was reading The Night Circus, a book that I don't want to turn anyone away from by over-hyping (although why should that turn people away? Just because the general, common public likes something doesn't mean it has to be despised by the intellectuals) but that has rapidly climbed to a very high rung on my favorite books ladder. The song makes a perfect soundtrack for the book - a hauntingly beautiful melody with deceptively simple words, telling the story of a passionate but impossible love.
You only know what I want you to
I know everything you don't want me to
Your mouth is poison, your mouth is wine
You think your dreams are the same as mine
I don't love you, but I always will.
I always will.
I wish you'd hold me when I turn my back
The less I give, the more I get back
Your hands can heal, your hands can bruise
I don't have a choice but I still choose you
I don't love you but I always will
I always will.
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